Why Choose Hate When Love Feels So Much Better?

Following my last blog post, I had a really good conversation with my cousin Rachel about race, hatred, illness, the soul, light and love. Rhetorically, she asked why is it that people choose hate when love feels so much better. Think about that for a moment…

In an attempt to reduce a complex multidimensional answer to a simple response, I stated that people are wounded in many ways and have not gone through the necessary processes to heal those wounds. Hurt people, hurt people as the saying goes. Wounding is inevitable but healing is a choice that requires work and courage.

The truth of the human experience is that we are all wounded in some way. Our efforts to cope with and heal from those wounds directly influence how we view and relate to ourselves and others. Racism is an unhealed wound that gives rise to anger and hate as well as guilt and shame. The inability to process through these difficult emotions in healthy and constructive ways gives rise to a myriad of behavioral and interpersonal dsyfunctionality further separating us from the essence of who we are at the core of our being – love.

Rachel, with conscious intention and psycho-spiritual maturity, walks the path of love. She walks in the footsteps of our grandmother; a generous and giving woman of extraordinary faith who was one of the most loving beings I have ever known. She also walks with courage and the awareness of a transcendent reality beyond the physical world that was only enhanced through her battle with cancer.

Diagnosed last year, she recently completed chemotherapy and radiation treatments and is currently cancer free. She maintained a positive attitude throughout the journey. With a strong faith in God and simply making up her mind that she would overcome the “monster”, she is in the final stages of her heroine’s journey.

So optimistic in the face of such devastating circumstances, her doctors believed she was in denial and recommended counseling. She was far from the denial. I once told her that one of the most important variables associated with overcoming any illness is a positive attitude.

As we spoke about her journey toward healing, she alluded to the lessons learned along the way and the internal shifting that occurred as a result of her process. It occurred to me that from a spiritual perspective, the journey, lessons, gifts, healing and growth was about much more than her medical diagnosis. Our souls are on a journey the physical body is in service to.

It is the awareness of the transcendent reality beyond physical being that allows my cousin and so many others to “look beyond and above and truly love their fellow man”. To them I say, spread it, model it and continue to illuminate the consciousness of those who remain in darkness.

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5 Responses to Why Choose Hate When Love Feels So Much Better?

  1. Denise V Duncan says:

    I have to admit that this post brought “Tears of Joy” to my eyes! Well said and I agree 100%!!!! =) ❤

  2. Paulo says:

    Nice post, I wonder however when you wrote “(…)I stated that people are wounded in many ways and have not gone through the necessary processes to heal those wounds. “What did you mean by that, It sounds a little like there is a process; an universal pattern to go through in order to “properly” heal, is there? I wonder what are your thoughts…

    • Thanks for your comment Paulo. I wrote this post about a week ago but published it today. Several pathways to healing exist but no universal process exists that I am aware of. Perhaps the most widely utilized mechanism for healing is psychotherapy. Numerous theoretical orientations, techniques and processes are offered by therapists to facilitate healing in individual, family, couples or group sessions. Other avenues exist that are therapeutic but not considered psychotherapy- personal growth retreats, meditation retreats and other activities that may be more spiritual or psycho-spiritual in nature. Each of these avenues has something to offer but are also limited. A personal growth retreat offers benefits that individual therapy cannot and vice-versa. Likewise ten days in silent meditation as well as “oneness meditations” offer gifts for healing and transformation in ways that other paths do not.

      • Chris Curtis says:

        Russell – I do agree with what you say here. But I also think a person – in their heart and soul – chooses to heal and will find the avenue(s) necessary to do so. That path may be different for each soul.

        Rachel has been an inspiration to all of us in the Zydeco community at large. We have followed and prayed and cried for her throughout her personal journey. I think to a large degree the power of her faith, the support and love of her man, and the collective spirit of all of us in the Zydeco community praying for her has given us all a major life lesson.
        I feel truly blessed that my path has crossed hers. Her light shines on us all.

        Chris Curtis

      • Thanks for your comments Chris. I could not agree more. Indeed, just as every person is unique, the chosen path(s) to healing must resonate with that person. The beauty is in the many paths that exist.

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